Sit Tall in the Saddle

I was around 14 when I first started working with horses. I wasn’t born on a ranch, like a lot of the cowboys I worked with. The son of a disabled veteran, my childhood was sometimes a bit hectic, being bounced around a lot. My grandfather was a farmer, so I spent a good amount of time around farming, but my grandfather had no interest in horses. His answer to me when ever I asked for a horse was, “Why would I buy a horse? I spent my whole childhood looking at the ass end of a horse plowing fields. We have tractors now, sure don’t need a horse.” Guess that is one of the problems of having a grandfather that grew up in the depression era.

We eventually bounced up to Sturgis South Dakota, because there was a V.A. Hospital at Fort Meade that my dad liked. Not as big and crowded as the V.A. in Omaha that dad had always gone too. Fort Meade was small enough that the doctors actually got to know your name. Kind of like Cheers I guess.

Now North-east Nebraska, where we came from was farm country, but around Sturgis, well that is ranch country. And ranches well, that means horses. I eventually managed to get myself working a bit on the ranches. Summer work, bit of haying, some helping with fixing fences (a never ending job on a ranch) and odd jobs here and there. And bit by bit I got to be around horses.

I saved up and bought my first horse, Lightning, she was a tall dark brown mare that was as strong as an ox, but she was well trained and steady, just the type of horse I needed to actually work with and learn the ropes of horse riding and caring for a horse. Her only fault being she loved to rub her head against my back while we were chilling to be able to steal my wallet out of my back pocket. Think she liked chewing on the leather.

I practiced hard at learning to use a rope, so that along with Lightning I managed to make myself useful on the ranch as a cowboy, although I never liked claiming that job description, I always referred to myself as a ranch-hand. Guess I thought I never deserved the title of cowboy.

Silhouette Cowboys ca. 1993

Eventually I got good enough with the horses that the old cowboys decided it was time I start learning to train horses. The first two horses I trained, to be honest I would call the first two “broke” rather then train. Because we did them old school. They were two rank two year olds that had spent all of their lives running free on the ranch. We corralled them and ran them through the chutes. Managed to get halters on them and then hooked their halter to ropes that were tied to old tractor tires. Then open the chutes and turned them loose in the corrals. Then they went about fighting the halter and the rope and the tractor tire. Eventually this wore them out and also taught them that they could not beat the rope.

Finally it was time for me to get a saddle on them and for me to get into that saddle. This is where the fun begins. Well, at least for all the old cowboys watching me get the shit kicked out of me by these two nut cases. But after hitting the ground more times then I care to admit, and more bumps and bruises then can be believed, I eventually started winning the battle with these two horses. By the end of the summer I had the two of them well trained and ready to work as good solid ranch horses.

After these two, the old cowboys started teaching me technics of how to train horses a much smarter way. Technics that if done properly you could be on the back of the horse by the end of the day, with more often then not hardly any real trouble from the horse. The best bit is it involved the horse learning to trust you as it’s friend and protector. Much better technics, but I think the old cowboys could not resist the entertainment of letting the young fellow do the first two old school. Had to prove I would keep getting back in that saddle.

So I cowboyed up and spent the rest of my teens working around and with horses. Loved it. But then being young I decided that the land of the Big Sky country was to small for me. I needed to see some of the world, like a lot of poor boys from where I am from, I decided to join the military with the plan of seeing the world for four years and then heading back to the ranches and the horses.

But life is funny, it throws you curves and before you know it, dreams are replaced, chooses are made and times continues marching on. Almost 30 years later and I have never gotten back to the ranches and the horses, other then the odd times when I happen to be back in South Dakota around branding season and I give a few friends an extra pair of hands with branding. Life has changed, horses are no longer a part of my life, but as I sleep, I still recall the times when I used to sit tall in the saddle and ride the range.

Why Dakota Mick?

So what’s up with the name Dakota Mick? Well, obviously my mother didn’t give me that name. That would have been stupid, especially considering I was born in Nebraska.

Anyways, when my wife finally got tired of South Dakota she drug me over here to Ireland back in 2001. Her being just to damn homesick. We ended up renting a little cottage outside of a small village not to far from Kinsale in County Cork. I made it my business fairly quickly to investigate the quality of the cold beverages in the village Pub. Luckily for me it was up to scratch. Actually quite good.

A special place to me.

After the locals got to know me, they decided that Michael, the name my momma did give me, just wasn’t good enough. “So how about Mick?” they suggested.

My response, “Well, to be honest, I usually go by Mike.”

“Ah ya, but you are in Ireland now…It has to be Mick.”

Well to be honest, I have been called a lot worse. So I agreed. Why not Mick…

“Well now, you can’t be Mick…Mick Murphy is Mick.”

“Well that’s fair enough, so how about we just call me Mike.”

But the locals insisted. “Your in Ireland now, so it has to be Mick. See we got Scottish Mick, we have English Mick, and we already have Mick the Yank…so you can’t be him…Where did you say you are from again?”

“South Dakota.”

And that is when the locals decided that Dakota Mick was my name. And once I got used to it I realised that as a name in Ireland it was really quite useful. The locals can explain away any strangeness they might perceive about me with. “Why sure, he is from the Dakotas, no wonder he is a bit different. And I also found that once the local had named you, that they seemed to take you in as one of their own. Which is nice.

Unfortunately, I no longer live in that village. But the name stayed with me. I like it. It labels me, kind of like a brand on my backside. Although, if I am ever in South Dakota I never use it. They would think I am some pretentious bastard.

Dakota Mick’s first blog

Dakota here…April 14th 2020 at around 2:00 in the morning. What the hell am I doing awake? And why the hell am I trying to write? Good questions, I have no idea.

Well here I is, knee deep in the middle of this quarantine. Oh joy. I am bored out of my mind and my sleep schedule is all over the place.

So Mustafa and I, the two forces of nature, behind the Muslim and the Redneck. Have been working away at trying to develop a comedy duo, comedy show, comedy extravaganza, a hurricane of chuckles in order to escape the mundane of everyday life. So how did this come to be.

Let’s do a flash back montage.

A few years back, I was working away, cutting up a load of materials to make a kitchen. For years I have been working as a cabinet maker to pay the bills and help raise a family. While listening to the radio as I worked, I heard a comedian chatting with the DJ’s, basically talking smack and promoting the show that he was touring around the country.

I have always wanted to be a comedian ever since I was a kid listening to Richard Pryor albums with my Dad. My Dad was a huge fan, with no qualms about letting his kids listen, no matter what Mom said. But growing up in South Dakota in the 70’s and 80’s, not to many opportunities to get into comedy.

But then life gets busy. You graduate high school, realise white trash can’t afford to go to college, so you join the Marine Corps. Hey, it got me out of a small town that was getting to small for me. You meet a girl from Ireland, marry a girl from Ireland and before you know it, a kid, then another kid. Then life… work… more work… and more life. Until one day you are 43 years old working at cutting up a kitchen, listening to a comedian promote his show and thinking. I always wanted to be a comedian.

I always wanted to be a comedian.